worldfamousprofessor:

spelling bee moderator: contestant 142, your word is “fergalicious”

contestant: *looks around nervously* um… could i please have a definition?

moderator: *flips through dictionary* “fergalicious. definition: make them boys go loco.”


gvnkin:

botanize:

one more sandwich story when i was six my mum made me ham sandwiches and my friend had skin that was the same colour as ham and i’d feel bad eating it because it felt like i was eating her and i’d always leave over my sandwiches and my mum asked why and i was too embarassed to tell her the real reason so i told her i was vegetarian like my dad and to make that lie consistent ive been vegetarian for the past  almost 13 years 

Jesus Christ

(Source: ifyoureadingthis50centiloveu1995)


the-vashta-nerada:

  • hey bro
  • bro
  • broski
  • brosicle
  • broseidon, god of the brocean
  • brotato chip
  • brotein shake
  • brosef stalin
  • barack brobama
  • teddy brosevelt
  • don quibrote
  • adrien brody
  • gallilebro gallilei
  • napoleon bronaparte
  • brobo cop
  • leonardo dicapribro
  • broseph mengele 
  • bro nye the science guy
  • selena bromez
  • broey deschanel 
  • bro dimaggio
  • wolfgang amadaeus brozart
  • brohemian rhapsody
  • osama bro laden
  • mighty bro young
  • brodo the hobbit bro
  • broprah winfrey 
  • broby dick
  • abroham lincoln
  • what’s up

amifutami:

what if every time u unzipped your pants it made the skype opening sound effect

(Source: amifutami-remade)


chickenuqqet:

"hate’s a strong word"

image

(Source: sidethots)


yeezuschrist:

i accepted my dad on fb and now he’s commenting on my friends’ graduation pictures jesusch RIST

image


(Source: theonion)


nicolas-px:

when you are forced to laugh at your teachers jokes

image



vic-vipers:

spookyprincestrider:

stunningpicture:

My friend was preparing for shooting the lunar eclipse when a plane came by

IM GONNA CUT THE FUCKING MOON IN HALF

RULES OF NATURE

vic-vipers:

spookyprincestrider:

stunningpicture:

My friend was preparing for shooting the lunar eclipse when a plane came by

IM GONNA CUT THE FUCKING MOON IN HALF

RULES OF NATURE


happy-avocado:

aye-lemme-whisper-in-yo-ear:

kushdrinker:

have u ever tried to look cool in front of ur friends and u image

i have been laughing at this for 10 minutes straight. 

both his pants and underwear came off how did he even manage


armadillo:

when you say a joke in front of a big group and no one laughs

image


twofingerswhiskey:

other countries have their figure skating set to classical music and soulful movie soundtracks

image

and then there’s canada

(Source: twospookywhiskey)